Was I meant to do this?

I have sometimes asked myself if I was meant to do this. I am a housewife without a great deal of training. When I was a child, I was indoctrinated with the idea of being a career woman and marrying a wealthy and successful man, having kids and living the American dream. Now that I am grown and have a family of my own, it has become apparent to many women who were sold this same bill of goods, that it is not all it was cracked up to be. We have lost generations of children to the two career parent lifestyle and endless pursuit of material gain. Fortunately, I have been married for twelve years to a wonderful man who has set our family up for me to stay at home and train and raise the kids. I love it but at times it is such a struggle because it goes against everything I was raised to believe I should be doing. Add to that the financial challenges of living on one income and you have a recipe for major internal and external conflict.

My husband often tells me that he is weary of how I go back and forth on my struggle with this issue. He wants me to be and stay on the same page with him. I know how important it is for us to be in agreement. We stay on the same page 85-90% of the time. However, there are some times when I doubt my decision to teach the kids at home and be a house wife. These struggles arise out of many things including lack of proper training in cooking and keeping house, pressure from family and friends to go back to work (real and/or perceived), financial challenges, boredom, kids not meeting behavior or performance expectations and coveting worldly things and pleasures.

My husband is so strong. He is completely immune to these things. He has a made up mind about home schooling. This is good because he is a rock and I act like the chaff that the wind blows away!