My Experience in a Focus Group

Before I begin this, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I used to be a sales director with a direct selling cosmetics company. In my business, it was essential that I presented a great image at all times. I had manicured nails, always wore great makeup and dressed very well (or at least I tried). I had a super cute haircut and looked like the ultimate stylish gal!

This was pretty cool. I am really a jeans and t-shirts person by heart and haven't really given a lot of thought to my image. I used to not pay a lot of attention to how I looked as long as I was neat. I felt really good about just looking like me without makeup, glam or pizazz. But, as I hit my thirties, I felt like I needed to do a little more to look good. So, I began to really enjoy the fact that I was buying clothes for myself instead of just for my kids. I looked great and felt great about how I looked.

But then I decided to give up my career to homeschool. I was determined to still maintain my diva image as a homeschooling mom. I didn't want to have the look of a harried, frumpy, unappreciated woman who didn't take time for herself. I am ashamed to admit that this was the image I had of all homeschooling mothers before I began homeschooling. Soo, I dubbed myself the Homeschool Diva as a fun way to remind myself that I can look good while teaching my kids at home.

Well, I really thought I was doing okay with my goal. Sure, there are days where I teach school in a raggedy t-shirt and sweatpants. There are days where I just let my hair do whatever. Sometimes, I look a little outdated but for the most part - I still look good - at least that is what I thought until this past Wednesday.

A friend of mine who also happens to be a homeschooler gave my name to her husband's company to participate in a focus group researching shopping and fashion trends. It would be a two hour discussion and would pay $50. With the curriculum fair coming up, I decided to go for it.

That morning I put on a pair of nice denim capri pants, sandals, and a polo shirt. I looked at myself. I looked neat and updated. But I thought about going to a swanky advertising agency in the downtown of the city and figured I'd better spruce it up. I asked my husband for confirmation and he agreed that I should change.

Well, I chose a taupe fine gauge knit sweater set and white capri pants with muted floral prints in taupe that matched. I put on fancier sandals. I tied the sweater around my shoulders and headed off. I felt a lot more confident.

When I pulled up to the address I was given, I found myself at a large colonial style house that had been updated and converted to an ad agency office. It was so chic!

I was greeted at the door by a woman with a cute pixie cut, a sleeveless dress in a muted blue and a scarf tied around her neck. She was thin, accessorized and immediately projected an image of style and confidence. I knew that I was out of my league. I was invited into a room with huge square conference table that was decorated so nicely. It was eclectic and a little bit funky but also warm and inviting. Around me were other women each with an expensive haircut (or so it looked), designer clothes, and a sense of style that I thought only appeared in magazines. As we all introduced ourselves, I was the only one who did not work outside of the home. When I told them I was a homeschooling mother of two, I wasn't sure how that would be received by this group of corporate career women.

I actually got a collective look of admiration or pleasant surprise. I did have one woman seem to comment in a negative way about homeschooling when she was introduced. She told her name, her occupation and then looked at me and said "And I don't homeschool my children!". She said it as if to say, "Homeschooling is okay but I could never do it". Later, she mentioned church and it made me think that she may have been a Christian. She sounded like I used to sound before I homeschooled. The Lord kept bringing it up and I kept running from it. I remember telling a friend that I would never do it. Ha!

Anyway, as these women talked about shopping and shopping and more shopping, I remembered how cool it used to be to have an income of my own. It was soooo sweet to have money to shop with. Some of these womean indicated owning several store cards and using them often. One was recently laid off from her job and a newleywed. She was the most avid shopper in the room.

I felt like a fish out of water. I buy clothing from discount chains and consignment shops and even Goodwill. I will buy some things from the mall but I make what I have work to look good and stylish. I do this because we are a one income family who doesn't use credit. My children and husband need clothes, we need curriculum and there is not a lot of excess yet.

We are tithers and we operate in the principle of sowing and reaping according the Bible. So, I know by faith that the day is coming that I can buy new clothes on a regular basis.

But for now, the Lord is preserving what I own and teaching me to rely on Him. In times past, being in a situation like the one I was in would send me into a torturous cycle of jealousy and covetousness. But, since I have received freedome from my hangups and I know who I am in Christ, I can put all of this into perspective.

The day will probably come where I concentrate on a job or business more than I do my children. But that season is not now. Now, I am sowing into my children and know that as I produce fruit of the Spirit for them to enjoy, good seeds will be sown into their lives to produce a bountiful harvest.

I wouldn't trade my days with them for a Louis Vuitton bag, a St. John suit, or anything else. I am leaning and trusting on the Lord. As time progresses, I will share more about the good things God is blessing me with. I know He is good, He is a giver and He is able to give us the desires of our hearts.

If you ever see that woman in the luxury car, walking unhindered by little feet, in her new pumps and designer duds, please don't let the enemy try to distract you with jealousy. You are an elected woman set apart and called to do a mighty work for God.

Walk in your anointing!